I. am. losing. my. shit.

That is all.

Just dropping in to say that I can't really type right now due to hand problem, so I'm trying to stay off the computer as much as possible. I do, however, want to wish a certain Ms. in Khartoum a happy birthday, even though it's not today!!!

I'm done! My full draft, four years after the start of my program, two years after I completely changed my topic, is done, finished, waiting for a date with the printer. That, my friends, is the bluebird of happiness.

I'm just checking in as I warm up for the penultimate/ultimate draft finishing day. I'm progressing through it all. Chapter one is completely done, chapter two will be revised by noon, leaving a messy chapter three, an introduction that just needs some jigging and a longer conclusion. All told, a lot of work but manageable.

On the non-thesis front, bullet form:

*Got my application for housing and school in Eastern European City emailed off. Hopefully all will be in order for them to evaluate my application and there will be some loop hole that allows non-exchange students to attend the University.

Of course, it just bounced back from the international student office to my email account, so off to the post office tomorrow.

*The credit card company is "investigating" the charge on my account. They seem to be unconvinced that it is fraudulent, as the card was swiped at the pump and not maxed out that same day. Cuz all card scams operate the exact same way and apparently I banged my head and actually do own a car, drive to Surrey and patronize Evil Gas Company. Grrr.

*Got a job and then thought about it. Called back to say, thanks, but no thanks. Taking it on would mean working 7 days a week, and since it's an evening shift and I work out of town on the other days, I'd never seen anyone or be able to do anything fun. While it is painful to turn down a job that is handed over on a silver platter and would involve working at a good organization, I had to ask myself some questions: "Is this job going to advance me down the career path that I want to follow?", "Will it let me work on my freelance writing or will it suck all my available time and energy into the office-work vortex?", "Sure, I'll have more money and will be more positive about being able to afford Eastern Europe, but is it worth it?". All these questions got "no" as the answer, so I gave myself a stern talking to and girded my loins to call back and retract my acceptance. They offered the job Friday and indicated a certain level of urgency since their person is leaving next Monday. So my turning the job down was a bummer for them and earned a terse "Ok, fine, thank you", which made me feel bad. Then again, what can you do? Is it my fault that they are shorthanded? Should I sign up to do a job that I know I'll just end up quitting? No. So: moving on (but still feeling a little guilty).

*I'm a bit nervous about the money situation, as I have a bridesmaid dress to pay for, a trip back east and then the move to Europe (where I won't be able to work) but I like that I am putting some faith in my writing ability and trying to grow my freelance portfolio and not just jumping at the first non-academic/non-writing job that comes along.

*It's still gorgeous outside. I actually work well when it is sunny, as rainy days just make me want to snuggle up with an episode of Buffy and a mug of tea. Sun = productivity. And the bonus is that breaks can be spent on the porch.

Horowitz

Gah! Over my morning coffee listening to the Current, who should come on but Senator Joe...I mean David Horowitz. Must return to thesis, more thoughts on this phenom soon. Can I just say that I love the fact that I could hear spittle actually flying when he started screaming the phrase "Communist Professors in every town"?

It's final crunch time: 4 days to go until my deadline.

Stealing gas in godforsaken Whalley

So, while I was posting about RFID hacks, someone decided to clone my credit card and start living it up (ha ha universe, good one). I opened my online statement for the first time in a couple of weeks and lo, $53 at a gas station. In another city. Did I get a car and forget about it last week? No, pretty sure I didn't. I called the credit card company, heart beating uncomfortably. When I asked about the charge, the service representative couldn't seem to locate it. "How much was the charge at Esso?" she asked, "cuz I have new charges of $114 here". "Shut it down, shut it all down!", I shrieked. Okay, not really, but I did let out a convincingly desperate whine. Like I'm not broke enough already! So, card cancelled. Fraud department alerted. Ordering credit statements. The crappy thing is that I still have the card, which means someone either double swipped it or got my info from a business' trash. But where? Hopefully they reverse the charges. It's a funny coincidence that they just called me this week with an offer of "card protection" for the low, low price of 14.95 a month. Or is it? Hmm.

Criminal minds want to know

Apparently, Thesis Hell comes up pretty high on google searches for aspiring law-breakers. People have been surfing on in looking for info on how to hack a Prius ignition and make homemade grappling hooks. The latter does have some superhero applications, so I'm not judging. Please be advised that this info is only available to subscribing members, for a reasonable fee of $20 a month, cheque payable to Grad Student Hack.

Or you could just pick up an RFID cloner and have your pick of any loot you want (including someone else's Prius). Awesomely shocking Wired article on the vulnerability of RFID technology (think smartcard door keys, Prius ignition keys and soon, passports and chips for human implant. Yay!). If the RFID isn't encrypted, hacking it is as easy as walking past someone and snatching the signal off their chip with a cloner that fits in your palm.

¡Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

The day shall go something like this: thesis work, buy a shirt, barbecue.

The suit

Trivia of the day

Did you know that Janez Drnovšek, President of Slovenia, is vegetarian? Actually, newly vegan, says Carniola.

Oh, yeah, an actual update:

News from this corner of the world, in bullet form

*I'm working towards a full draft submission date of the 12th of May. That is soon. I am drinking coffee and pondering time travel options. Don't be mad if I don't return your call.

*My instructor-job interview is set for 3 days after my possible thesis defence date in early June. Again, this is such a laughable time frame that I am calmly losing my mind.

*I have to come up with a lesson plan (3 weeks x 3 hr sessions), reading list and a 15 minute mini-lecture to present to the search committee. I will be reading pretty much everything ever written about academic job interviews and designing courses/reading lists online. Extra karma and love sent to anyone who can point me towards URLs that are particularly good.

*It's gorgeous outside. I need sunproof lip gloss.

*Reading: Le Matou by Yves Beauchemin (the biggest Québecois novel of all time), articles, my draft
*Consuming: homemade café au lait
*Listening: "Brother" by The Organ, "Dreaded Fist" by The Rascalz, "Truth" by Sweatshop Union
*Watching: Coronation Street on Sunday morning is still my lifeline. Watched C.R.A.Z.Y. on the weekend. Can't do it justice right now, but it's going on the favourites list.
*Thinking: thesis. interview. thesis. interview. thesis. interview. chocolate.

Fate presses buttons

So, carrying around the interview tape you have to transcribe in the recorder is a bad idea. Want to know how I found this out? While emptying my travel bag, a sickly orange light greeted me from the bottom of the case. Of course, it was the "out of battery power" light, to show that the recorder had been recording, over the interview, during the whole trip. A jostle of the bag must have depressed the right combination of buttons, starting the recording mechanism. I'd check if I lost the whole interview, but the recorder was on for so long that it ripped the tape off the spindle resulting in an unplayable mess.

One: Never keep the tape in the recorder.
Two: Remove batteries and carry separately.
Three: Invest in the more expensive, higher quality tapes.
Four: Transcribe the minute you are finished the interview.
Five: Write notes during the interview so that you have a back-up.
Six: Don't be such a f'n rookie, for the love of Pete!

All is not completely lost. I have notes and good memory of what went on during the interview, and I transcribed the first 15 minutes of it already. But I had some choice quotes in there, and I'm still choked, but not "just been punched in the gut, can't breathe" kinda choked anymore. More like the philosophical "I've lived, learned and moved on" kinda choked, with a little knuckle biting thrown in for variety.

I said to myself that I wouldn't start a blog if I couldn't keep it updated...it always makes me nuts to read someone's posts, enjoy them and then have them stop writing (even though I know, rationally, that life intervenes and that I'm just a spectator, so it's not my place to feel as though anyone owes me anything). But, well, humans aren't fully rational beings at all times, so I do feel cheated and sad when my favourites stop posting.

So, I'm going to try my darndest to not have this end up like every craft or diary I've ever started (half finished, unraveling, incomplete, left to gather dust in a junk pile that I'm unable to dispose of because one day I might pick it up again). This is the longest I've ever maintained a journal of sorts and I want to keep it up. Sometimes I don't update because it's too complex to navigate the strands of anonymity, public/private information, audience. Mostly it's cause I'm tired or am avoiding writing all together. Add to it the complication of a full time job outside of the city that I love but can't talk about without compromising my anonymity, and voila...lapsed posting and emo explanations for said lapses.

All this to say, I'll try. I will.