And that, as that they say, is that

After these many years, here I am, Mistress of Fill in the Blank. Written thesis: Pass. Presentation of thesis: Pass. Oral defence of thesis: Pass.

There were moments during the defence where I was tempted to dive out the door I was standing next to and make a run for it, but in the end all was well. One of the sweetest members of my committee turned out to be a total hardass when question time came around, basically questioning my central thesis. This and the next few questions were when the open door really started to look attractive. But I stuck it out, sweated a lot and managed to answer a barrage of questions that I really hadn't anticipated. I also managed to use the word "naughty" in my defence, which made my advisor chuckle and seemed to entertain the audience.

When I was called back in after the short deliberation, I got lots of wonderful feedback. My committee stressed how much they enjoyed reading the thesis and how completely original it was ("which is the highest complement we can give a fellow academic", the chair said). They also praised the writing, and encouraged me to see it as the basis for a dissertation or as a published work. My sweet advisor said that it was a very special day for me, but also for her, because she first met me as an undergrad in one of her classes many years ago. To see me now, at the successful end of my MA program, was a real treat.

The day itself was absolutely beautiful, and the audience and my advisor ended up at the bar for a celebration drink. The pub we went to has a 'free drink for successful defence' policy. I was just going to go for a summery patio drink like a g&t, but was informed that I could have my pick of anything in the bar. I promptly headed over to the top shelf to look at the whisky. Of course, there were the standby Glenfiddich and Glenlivet. A Tallisker sat in the back row, tempting. And then I saw it: Lagavulin, just off to the side and waiting to be noticed. So we sat out in the shade, sipping Lagavulin (Rebus' top shelf pick, a smooth peat and smoke whisky from Islay) and chatting. Then off to dinner at a great little vegetarian restaurant. I'd been up since 5am and my nerves had gone through the wringer, so we decided to head home afterwards. We sat on the porch with the cat and then settled in to watch Jeremy Brett's Sherlock Holmes in The Second Stain. Bed by 10 and straight into the sound sleep of the wicked.

I'll probably never stand at a podium to pick up an award, so this'll have to do as the closest thing to an acceptance speech: A major thank you to everyone, since getting this thesis off the ground was more a collaborative project than an individual one! A: for tech and research support (as well as many, many dinners), M&S for research funds when the uni gave me the cold funding shoulder and many, many years of support, JP for enabling European research, JW for tolerating the state of the office perpetually and for everything else, the P sisters (PG and Khartoum branches) for encouragement, defence fashion tips and grad school commiseration, JC for everyday phone contact to preserve sanity and for dragging a very stressed grad student out to yoga when most needed. The Beast for being angry, entertaining and cuddly in equal measure. The rest of the fam and friends not mentioned here for not asking me about my thesis too much, but still acting interested when I talked about it at length. ;)

Love to you all,
grad student hack, MA

D Day

After all this time, here we are. I'm defending my thesis today. I may make a break for Fiji, so someone should probably take my passport away just to be sure. I've got the bones of my talk, but feel as though I need to do some concentrated writing for another hour or so before I rehearse it a couple of times. I feel eerily calm which is weird. Maybe overconfidant? Well, better get back to it or I won't have anything much to say when I get there.

Bonne St-Jean Baptiste!

For non-Québecois readers: Saint John the Baptist is the patron saint of Québec. The 24th is the province's "fête nationale", or national holiday, one of the most important days for the Québecois people.

Hair cuts and pickpockets

If you need a haircut, please go see genius Allan at The Chopping Block. He's sweet, fun to talk to and gives the best cuts ever! Love, love, love my hair.

In the not-so-great portion of this entry: there's a pickpocket now working the Chinatown buses on a daily basis (#8, #3, #19 heading South from Hastings, and back down from around Broadway). Today is the 4th time I've seen him. He mostly targets elderly people, the disabled and anyone who looks Asian. I'm sure he'd steal from anyone given the opportunity, but these are his main targets. Since the moment when I realized what he's doing, I watch him like a hawk. He glances over and when he notices that he's being watched, he backs off. His main strategy is to join a large group at the doors of the bus and start pushing, like he really needs to get off. His hand, covered by a blue and beige checked shirt, is then wandering in bags and open pockets. Last time this happened, a guy loudly said "You leave people alone and get off the f'n bus!" before I did. Buddy said "I'm just getting off here" and tried to look all innocent. This after spending 5 minutes trying to see if an elderly man was blind or not (by waving a hand near him and pulling strange faces) so that he could target him later. He saw me watching and moved on, but man was my blood boiling.

Today I saw him get on the back doors of the bus (fare jumping by bus company standards), so when I got on I quietly said to the driver "You've got a pickpocket who just jumped on the back and is now working your bus". He thanked me and proceeded to do nothing. Nothing! I know drivers are supposed to avoid confrontation with passengers, but how is it okay that he allows a pickpocket to work his bus?! A simple announcement over the speakers "Could the guy who just got on without paying his fare please get off the bus now" would have done the trick, and drivers do it all the time. I was pissed, so I just stared the guy down, preventing him from doing his work. Another guy squeezed by me, and the girl next to me said "Hey, that guys a pickpocket!" I said "yeah, and that guy in the blue hat is one too". The girl on my right said "He just rubbed up against me and grabbed me". Fuck this, we all decided, and got off at the next stop. We ran to the front doors and told the other transit employee (a big, burly take-no-shit dude) what was going on. When he heard the commotion, my pickpocket quickly got off the bus and ran away. The transit guy said he couldn't do anything at that point, which is true.

I'm so frustrated right now, because it seems like the bus company doesn't give a crap and will continue to allow its most vulnerable customers (the elderly, disabled people, women, people of colour) to be preyed on by this guy. Honestly, I don't see any resolution to this. If you see this type of thing happening, please speak up if it feels safe to do so. If you have any suggestions, put them in comments cuz I need to figure out something proactive I can do that doesn't involve breaking this guys fingers, cuz I'm starting to feel real twitchy about the situation. If anyone speaks Mandarin, I'd like to make a poster to put up warning people about the situation on the buses in Chinatown.

I won't be able to watch the Czech-Italy match tomorrow, but go Czech Republic! Update: Strikers Baroš and Koller are on the list for the game, no final word if they can play, but there's a good chance they will. Česká to victory!

Update #2: Not only did Koller not play, but Czech is out of the Cup. D'oh!

The wee beasty has the right idea: find a patch of sun and lie in it, but I'm off to tempt fate by getting a haircut mere days before an important event. I have pretty strong confidence in my hair guy but a general mistrust of my luck, so I'm hoping it all balances out and I get a cut I can live with.

I'm starting to think more seriously about what I want to present at the defence. Anybody have any major tips to share? My advisor sent me an outline, but I'm starting to get nerves about the whole thing again. Looks wise, I think I'm ready: the power outfit needs pressing but is otherwise perfect. Though I may go with a cute black top with the dressy pants instead of the lovely crisp white shirt, cuz I'm sure I'll get a major sweat on the minute my recalcitrant committee member opens his mouth. And you should never let them see you sweat, dahlings.

Regular service to resume shortly

The sun is shining, finally. In the news: I'm teaching in the fall, I sold another freelance piece, my defence is coming up in no time, life is pretty good. Basically the name of this blog has got to change, as it is now almost officialy a misnomer. I am no longer in thesis hell, one more hurdle to clear and I am done!

The major problems at work are starting to be resolved and my depression is lifting, since the crazy temporary employee has been let go in the last day or so. Girlfriend had to bounce, for real, so its nice that it's finally happened and all seems right with the world again. Ever work with someone who literally has you convinced that they are evil? Yeah, I'm not much for thinking that human behaviour can be traced back to demonic possession, but man, she had me rethinking that notion. Some samples from the last month:

*she decided to change her name to match a fictional character that she invented
*she waved a very sharp work implement a foot from my head while loudly proclaiming her newfound name, which made me very very nervous
*she decided, after a week of work, that she should be considered an expert and deferred to in all decision making. When not deferred to, she pouted, berated, pop psychologized and acted like a jerk.

and the cherry on the sunday:
*she got naked in the workplace

Thanks for coming out, here's your complementary toaster oven. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out

Join me, won't you, in raising a victory toast. Sangria's on me.

So, how y'all doing? It feels like forever!

So, um, I got the job. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First College Instructor job interview ever: done. I rocked the new grey trousers/crisp white shirt and heels look. Seriously, yo, I looked like a professor. I had my portfolio briefcase full of hot-off-the-press syllabi and a 15 minute lecture. I'd rate my performance on the Q&A as an A and my lecture as an A-/B+ (only cuz there were a few moments of nerves where my voice got cracky and I had to drink water). But I made them laugh, and the person from the teaching team who shares my discipline was interested in my topic to the point of asking about articles she could read on the subject. I think I got my teaching philosophy out there in a relatively coherent way and they seemed to like my answers to most things. I think I stand a chance, but no matter what, it was great to experience an academic interview and see that even though I'm a theory person, I can step into other subject areas and get interview call-backs.

Now that I've completely alienated my readership (sorry, mom), I thought I'd give a little update.

*Work is stressful, but I'm dealing finally. I'm also invigilating more in a week, so that's a little extra coin.

*I sold another freelance piece, my first of a more journalistic nature. The writing was easy, but the science stats I had to include almost defeated me. Some miscommunications during the edit process and a one day turn around on the piece (including interviews, talking with pr people, transcription and writing), made the project a little more stressful than expected. Good to know that I can crank out 1000 words at the drop of a hat, thank you 9 years of university.

*Academic interview tomorrow. I'm just in the middle of writing a lecture. Okay, no, I'm just starting to write it, but it's outlined as all get out. I'm off to get an outfit that will exude power this afternoon.

*My defence is set. Set, as in, date, time and place arranged. Set as in Oh.My.God. Set as in "pass the Tums, I'm freaking". Happy, depressed, anxious, stressed, exhilerated, confused. Curse you, grad school emotional rollercoaster! My advisor is really positive about the project and likes what I've done with it. Now to revise some technical points and send it out to the committee before sunday.

Okay, got it back. More soon.