I thought I'd use a picture (not me) to dive into today's topic:
Bridesmaid season has now been kicked into high gear, and I'm starting to haemorrhage money in a most alarming way. I think if you're born a girl, you should automatically be handed a little guidebook with warnings about this stuff.

Like, warning, before saying yes to bridesmaidhood, be advised that:

*The dress will be priced in euros, not dollars. It will not fit when you try it on. There will be public nudity, awkward measuring, seamstresses, tears and more money involved in fixing the problem (which happens to be that the dressmaker got all the measurements correct except the bust, meaning I could fit a few encyclopedias quite comfortably in there). Reading material for the ceremony, bonus.

*You also need shoes, bra, jewelry, a shawl, a professional hairdo, makeup and so forth. You will draw the line at paying for a mani/pedi, as you strongly believe that nobody touches your feet without paying YOU!

*You will become a part of the wedding machine. No matter your personal feelings on marriage (which amount to "whatever floats your boat, as long as I don't have to walk down no aisle"), you are now a part of a whole new realm of behaviour, protocol and ritual. You may feel weird about some of the things you are now obliged to do. You will be asked many, many times about when you will be getting married. Surprise will be expressed if you state that no, you are not actually interested in being a princess for a day.

*Strippers and limos cost a lot of bloody money. You knew that before, but this is the first time you've ever been put in charge of "giving the stripper directions to the apartment and making sure he brings his naval uniform".

*You realize that you will now be a part of a drunken hen party that will hit the clubs and howl "she's getting married tomorrow, wooooo!" at every opportunity. You've always smirked at these roving bands of tiara-wearing women, now, you are one of them. Good god.

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy and honoured to be a part of my dear friend's wedding. I love both groom and bride, and know that this is a wonderful event in their lives and I am so happy to share it. I even plan to have a lot of fun at all the various wedding events. It's just that none of the roles, tasks and monetary investments involved were things that ever crossed my mind, having never been a bridesmaid before. Money is very tight, now that I'm done with school and have gone into loan repayment, and it's a bit painful to spend so much money. Why can't there be some kind of "Bridesmaid Grant Program"? If KINK can get money from the federal government to do its thing, why can't I?

If you're at the wedding, I'll be the chick in the black dress at the bar (open, thank goddess), clutching a portrait of Pierre Bourdieu to my heart.